WOMEN’S FORUM: Month of love . . .

Nhlalwenhle Ncube

HAPPY new month and ita��s not just like any other month but a special one with significance touching the romantic realm.

Valentinea��s Day falls on the 14th of this month, but that does not mean one has to wait for the day to express his/her undying love.

In fact, take advantage of this month and bring back the spark into your relationship by taking it to another level.

However, the deepest expression of love is more than roses and cards; ita��s time for bringing back those lost good days which most couples wish they could bring back. Anyway, ita��s time to celebrate love, loving and being loved.

a�?I love youa�? and a�?Ia��m in love with you.a�? Is there a difference? Yes. a�?Ia��m in love with youa�? has more infatuation and projection attached and a�?I love youa�? has more of day-to-day companionship attached. Both kinds of love do indeed make the world go round.

This second month of the year also brings our focus to the heart, this vital organ which beats an average of 100 000 times each day. But our emotional heart is complicated: it has both dark and light places. On the dark side of the heart are emotions such as jealousy, envy, rage and revenge. These negative feelings feed on themselves and harbour ill will.

People who love are people who forgive. Who cannot appreciate how our hearts are transformed when we hear someone say, a�?Ia��m sorry; please forgive me.a�? So let us have the grace to forgive or at least to let go.

That being said probably this is the 28th or 30th Valentinea��s Day for you. For old couples, by old am not necessarily implying weakening of flesh, but couples who have spent more years together, Valentinea��s Day has become monotonous and a day quickly dismissed for teenagers and those termed young at heart.

But thata��s not the case, old or young it matters. If you are in a relationship, the basic foundation or characteristics I understand should be love. Anything less than that, I bet you will concur with me on this one, ita��s reduced to a captive moment mostly fuelled by dependence or desperation.

As we have addressed the basic fundamental of any relationship a�?being lovea�? 14 February is a day for people who are in love. Putting it that way sounds awfully wrong, but what I am trying to say is that, this is the time, regardless of age, which lovers have to travel an extra mile just to show their better halves that indeed they mean a lot to them.

There is a depressing and a saddening overwhelming dependency of sisters on their better halves to always do something for them on Valentinea��s Day. My sister, I am very sure even during leap year most of you barely do anything but still expect the partner to come through with all sorts of gifts.

Sister!! Sister!! Sister!! This is the time to show your partner that you also have practical love concerned initiatives when it comes to spoiling him. Dona��t be the sister who makes a brother cringe at the thought of your birthday or particularly Valentinea��s Day. Surprise him or at least appreciate what he has bought for you. We all know economically, these are challenging times, but a little gesture of acknowledging his love for you should not be rubbished for being stingy, inconsiderate but viewed as a sign influenced by the deepest sentiments of his love for you.

I know at this point, some sisters out there think that this weeka��s issue is pro-men, but alas my beloved sister, I think this is the time we show our better halves that we dona��t entirely depend on them to immortalise their love for us through gifts. But as a sister you know your man, surprise him, make supper for him, give him a massage and tell him how precious he is in your life, thata��s all it takes.

A bit of pride swallowed goes a long way in altering egos for the benefit of any relationship. Sisters this Valentine, be that lady your man rushes home to, not drags his feet in fear that his gift for you might be imperfect, for your ever soaring demands.

As usual, beginning the month of February we take things slowly, but dona��t miss next weeka��s offer, it doesna��t get any kinkier than what is in store for you, you might as well start biting your lips in anticipation. Till next week.

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Hi sister, your column turns the entire world on. Keep teaching the world right about the true bedroom life. a�� Ninjah in Harare.

Your articles are so educative.

The problem is some ladies buy love through sex so they end up having unprotected sex to show love to their men.
Hey thanks for educating us, it has changed my bedroom life.

I like your articles and you are right, most women put themselves in so many risks. You are a great woman.
Sister, I was touched by your article of 27 January-2 February.

I really enjoy your articles, thanks for that. We are learning a lot.

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