When three is not a crowd

Nhlalwenhle Ncube

IT’S just a few days before New Year’s Eve and on that night a lot of people always want to do something crazy so it becomes a 2018 memorable event. I wonder what you are planning to do. If you are one of those people who are planning to be crazy by going for a threesome or something along those lines, think twice.

I know most people have that fantasy and would love to try out something new during this season. Do you happen to be thinking of taking a risk with your sex  life? Most people are eager to know more about having threesomes and are even prepared to experiment, but sisters, hold your horses.

Of course it can be said that having a threesome can be wonderful and exotic, but have you ever thought of its harm to your relationship. Better think of other crazy things, but threesome is a no go area.

The fantasy of a threesome is all about wanting to experiment being in bed with multiple partners, the new experience of spicing up your sexual life and better your sex life. None of these reasons is convincing for a threesome and then what happens after it?

Experts say intimate experiences cause emotional connections to form. At all times you should remember that you are having a new experience, not a relationship with one or both of the people involved. Unfortunately, many times it is hard to separate the two and one partner may become emotionally attached when in fact it is just a fling. Before engaging in a threesome, it is vital to evaluate whether or not you are ready and can handle a range of emotions including guilt, jealousy, and increased desires.

If it happens that the threesome involves your partner, higher chances are that after the act he might start suspecting that you are cheating on him. The trust can be broken! If you and your partner are not mature enough to handle the many pitfalls associated with a threesome, problems can occur including jealousy and you might end up parting ways. A threesome is a short time event, but it can cost you in life and haunt you for the rest of your life.

The other important thing to take note of is that most men cannot handle threesomes. Most times, it’s the man who suggests a threesome. But, also most times, he’s the one left holding the short end of the stick, as it’s all, seemingly, quite decked in favour of the woman.

According to an expert, “Women, can actually forgive a man when he strays, as long as he comes clean and they know that they are his only true love. So in a threesome situation, where it’s with another woman, since it’s already been discussed, women are okay with it, and quite enjoy the overflow of passion and the sensitive touches of a woman. But the man on the other hand might initially be excited at the idea of sharing his woman with another man, but will not know what hit him when he sees his woman enjoying the touches and attention of another man. What he feels is a combination of jealousy, remorse, anger and insecurity and when the combined feeling hits, there’s only one way this relationship is going and that’s down.”

After a threesome, most women are bound to lose self-worth. It is said that women who indulge in casual sex, generally suffer from low self-esteem over a period of time. What starts out as using sex to gain control over “man”kind eventually gives way to the reality of being used as a sex doll by men, who soon start passing information to each other about this “easy” woman everyone can have. Apply this general progression to that of a threesome where the woman is either forced to or willingly sleeps with another man. She starts having low self esteem as she wakes up to the fact that her body is being used; that she is being used and that’s not a nice feeling.

The sense of shame will likely prevail. The morning after is never a great feeling, in spite of all the excitement the darkness of the previous night may have offered.  Anyone in a relationship who says he or she felt great after experiencing a threesome the night before is said to be lying!” A sense of shame clouds you and you can of course pick yourself from it, by saying you’ll never do it again and or lying to yourself that it was great and that it has rejuvenated your flagging sex life, but a sense of shame will prevail for some time to come. Many do not recover from it and some can slip into chronic depression.

Lastly, after the threesome, things are likely to go terribly wrong. Men talk! The men whom you would have allowed into your bed can start telling other people about the act.

The societies we live in are very harsh and unfair. As a woman you will be called names, but men involved will be heroes. Sisters, do not embarrass yourselves, having a threesome is no go area. Better be crazy and do other things, not a threesome!

Remember condoms are not 100% safe.   It might break and when the pregnancy test shows positive, who will be the father of your child?

Sisters, do not be easily carried away, there is more to life than a few minutes of pleasure.

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  • BushMaster

    What about a threesome with two women and one man. That would have made more sense as an article.