Valentine’s fever and footballers swag

Khuphuka Nasingeni
IT has been a while since men had a real celebration that is exclusively theirs. Not the false Eritrean Utopia that raised anxieties and disappointed many polygamous-at-heart local men! I feel like leaping with joy!  After all, it’s a leap year and we understand that as we go red this week, women should spoil us! Yes, you heard right, the women will be spoiling men.

While I do not know how this tradition evolved, I am happy to embrace it since I could be on the receiving end!
Nowadays communication is centred on the little gadget, the cellphone. Please, whole adult lovers stop hiding behind the tiny cellphone.

I was at this salon and I heard all sorts of tricks being rehearsed to deny men their time in the sun, with some ladies intimating that their gadgets were likely to develop technical problems on 13 February and only be fixed on 15 February.

We know all the tricks and don’t you dare take the risk with me, unless of course you want to hazard a Valentine’s Day break-up!

I cannot wait for the colour red to fill the air but am somehow worried that since it would be a lazy Sunday, I may not be able to see the many different outfits that ladies fill the streets in.

My friend uMzo has already declared that he will not be accepting any flowers but his favourite brew only. Told that it was romantic to receive flowers once in a while, he chuckled that he was asthmatic and allergic to pollen dust!

We tried to reason with him that he could allow himself to be treated to a romantic dinner or take the NRZ Valentine’s steam train ride to Redwood. Redwood ngestimela badala, I can almost hear touts shouting in the background!

He could not take that too, he said, pointing out that the coal dust had an effect similar to pollen. We gave up.

As the conversation drifted in the bar, someone warned the men against raising their hopes too high since they were not likely to be spoilt. And some ladies have already confided in me that a man should prove his worth, leap year or whatever year, by buying a Valentine’s present if they still know what’s good for them.

The celebration of love should see many shops smiling all the way to the bank since so many young men are dying to impress their secret targets. Some have waited almost all year long to approach a woman of their dreams under the cover of Valentine’s Day!

Get it from me, it is not easy to approach a woman under the torture of butterflies all over your tummy.

So ladies, treat that guy with respect for his guts because he had to go through serious rehearsals just to ask you what time it was! And do you know gentlemen that your chances of winning the love of your life’s heart increase exponentially this week as many young women especially would not countenance a situation where they do not receive presents or are taken out on Valentine’s.

I hear in some country more than a fifth of women actually send themselves flowers on Valentines Day!

Imagine having nothing to share the day after the event while everybody is blabbering on about what they got up to.

So guys pick your target right because now is the right time to strike, the red hot Cupid strike!