BLACK-COUPLE-FIGHTING

The cat house . . .Constant fights kill love, trust and your bedroom life!

Nhlalwenhle Ncube

YOU know there are some couples who have no peace in their homes because they fight every day.

Of course disagreements in a relationship are normal as partners will be expressing their true thoughts and feelings, but this does not mean these disagreements should turn into fights.

Couples should disagree here and there, but it should not be all the time. At the same time, you should not always agree as that is a sign that one of you is being fake.

Some people have become miserable in their marriages because of these daily fights. Even on simple issues, they fight. Ita��s terrible as these disagreements turn into arguments which then go really bad.

Constant fights kill love, trust and your bedroom life!

The key to a good relationship is not avoiding arguments, but how you deal with them. Healthy, successful relationships and marriages dona��t avoid conflict and the disagreements and arguments that come with it. But partners should know how to disagree and work through it without letting the conflict escalate to a fight and turn into verbal abuse.

At times you win relationship arguments when you are mature enough to choose the relationship over being right. A fear for many partners is that if they do this it will mean they will always be wrong and their partner will always be right.

As a woman, at times silence is all that you need to solve an argument. Bearing in mind that men have got ego to protect, just play it cool and you will not lose anything, but save your relationship. When you practise this you will find you have less and less arguments and when you do, your partner will probably choose the relationship over being right too.

Fighting between husbands and wives can occur for more reasons than just needing to be right. But the psychological causes for this arena��t as important as just recognising how destructive fighting is for the relationship. a�?Immaturea�? people choose being right even at the cost of the relationship, while a�?maturea�? people will be wrong if necessary in order to keep the relationship.

Will you choose to be a�?maturea�? or a�?immaturea�? in your next argument? Fighting with your husband constantly is unhealthy and will destroy your marriage!

First and foremost sisters before we go any deeper whata��s the purpose of an argument and how do arguments come about in the first place? If you find yourself weighing in on an argument over something that is useless then sister you have a serious problem. Despite a couple arguing over everything sisters leta��s not just argue for the sake of arguing but in the process of an argument leta��s be directed by a positive mindset to settle or in the end reach an amicable solution.

Once you are in a relationship, though arguments sometimes are unavoidable dona��t be that sister who is known for cringing arguments on a daily basis. Ita��s a complete turn-off. On several occasions I have heard male colleagues that I work with complaining as we knock off, about the nightmare they are set to face at their homes due to sisters that complain and are always raring to go for an argument.

It is at this point my sisters that we have to know that if we engage in an argument it must be constructive and yield positive fruits in the end, anything less than that is destructive and dragging your relationship to the bottom of the sea.

As a sister, to make sure that you have constructive arguments dona��t get emotional in the process. I know this sounds impossible but ita��s the best way to keep an argument in a positive lane.

Once you become emotional you are set to also emotionally react or say things that you actually dona��t mean and end up destroying your relationship for good or leave an emotional scar on your partner.

The problem with most sisters is that they are short tempered; one little thing sets them off and the whole house becomes a battle zone, and no amount of apologies or excuses can calm them down.

That being said as a sister rather than just blurting out words for the argumenta��s sake, be in control and show your partner that you are not just nagging but you have a point to prove and do prove your point.

Just like in a high school debate let him speak out his mind first and take your turn to direct your points as well. Also avoid raising your voice unnecessarily because in the end you wona��t hear each other and may end up just shooting aimlessly in the end you miss the point of communication, which is to be heard and understood.

a�?a�?Running mouth,a��a�� as dirty and mean as the expression sounds, I have heard several people using the expression to describe sisters who cana��t have decent communication with their partners without letting their spouse get the bitter part of their tongue.

As you go through this article sisters, I know some of you have taken notes here and there but am not saying men are all innocent in relationship arguments, but we have to, like we have always been, play the big brother role and show them the light. Till we meet next week, keep that temper under check and keep your relationship going strong.