No sex, no love

No sex, no love

Nhlalwenhle Ncube

YOU cannot win your husband with a closed pant or bra!

For the past couple of weeks, I have been emphasising on one point because women seem to never run out of excuses, denying their partners their conjugal rights. It seems there are people who are staying as couples, but not having sex, Yooooh it’s tight!

Sisters, I’m talking to those couples who are staying together. Can love really exist in the house without sex? No!

You know women are funny creatures and I have on numerous occasions heard them saying they have ‘‘retired’’ from playing the adult game. But you should ask yourself this, when you take an early retirement, where do you think your man is getting satisfaction from and does that mean you have turned your husband into your brother? Sisters, do not punish your partner.

Remember it has often been said that women have sex to feel loved and men find love for sex. Love and sex are therefore inextricably linked. Love is a foundation of intimacy and intimacy is the expression of love!

Do not get lost, when you were girlfriend and boyfriend, your relationship might have survived without sex but now you are at another stage and you need both love and sex. Do not start reminding your partner that he should not complain of being starved in the bedroom because of history. The stage you are at is no longer that teeny-booper romance, but adult romance where love and sex are both crucial.

Physical intimacy is one of the most important things in a relationship. In order for a relationship to work, there has to be some sort of physical chemistry between partners. In simpler terms, a relationship is like a boat. Love keeps it from sinking and sex makes the boat rock. The adult game adds spice to a relationship and it is extremely important as everybody has needs that need to be satisfied.

Sisters, this week I decided to share a certain letter from a sexually frustrated man and hope it will help in answering the question of whether love can exist without sex.

In the letter the man expresses his anger about their sex life. He also proffered suggestions on how to make it better. Read the letter and see whether it is similar to the one your partner could have written to you if he was to write to you about your sex life.

Dear wife

I want to let you know how I feel about our sex life and how it affects me negatively.

Most of the time you complain about me becoming angry too easily, what you don’t know is that my anger most of the time is not about what got me angry, but it is about the way you are handling our sex life. You always think you are doing me a favour by allowing me to sleep with you. The way you normally reject me affects me, my ego, my manhood, my leadership and this is because you reject me in an annoying way.

Before I got married to you, I had an unfettered access to sex after the wedding that is why I kept myself for you till the wedding night. I enjoyed the best of you during our honeymoon and the first few months after, things fell apart and the centre could not hold.

Now our bedroom life has become dry, drab and uninteresting. This is putting more pressure on me, with tension of lust, passion and immorality staring at my face. I must confess to you, I now struggle daily to overcome sexual sins, something that was not happening to me even when I was a bachelor.

You have become a roadblock on my way to a romantic life!

In an average attempt of trying to make love 10 times, I have succeeded once. Your reasons are always different and I guess they are written somewhere.

The few times I have succeeded in having sex with you, the result is always not satisfying because of your behaviour.

You first start by ordering me around saying, “Switch off the lights, close the window, the door is not properly closed, close it, take a bath and use perfume.” The orders are too much and poor me. I have to obey because there will be no show for me that night! Even when you agree, I do not usually enjoy it, because of the way you normally react.

Things that usually turn me off  are, “Do what you want to do and let me sleep”, I have to wake you up and tell you that I am finished, You just lie there as if you are not in bed with me and you complain throughout ,leaving me assuming that I hurt you.

For our marriage to be better, I think you need to improve and make me happy and remember that sex is one of your major duties as a wife, without which peace may find it difficult to reign in the home. Thanks in advance for improving our bedroom life.

Yours in love

Neglected and hungry husband.

Does the man sound like your husband? Are these complaints not in your home too?

If that is the case, deal with your bedroom skills and let love music start again in your bedroom!

Let’s keep chatting on nhlancube66@gmail.com or 0782309695.