Lies are destructive

Nhlalwenhle Ncube

JUST imagine being in a relationship with a person who rarely tells the truth?

It hurts because no one wants to be lied to, worse when it becomes more of a habit. Truth be told, lying to a partner kills intimacy and makes trust impossible. A relationship with no trust and intimacy is a DEAD one.

The only thing more important than love in a relationship is trust. Trust is the fertile soil love grows on. If there’s no trust, there’s no relationship. When you discover that your partner is a habitual liar, trust automatically dies.

As much as you will want to forgive him/ her, the way you interact will never be the same. Trust, like a vase once broken, even the most skilled craftsman, in a bid to restore it can’t conceal fracture lines, in general it becomes impossible to restore it to its originality.

Trust is a special form of bond, it is also a tenuous one, easily broken, if one of the partners constantly lies. When we talk of lying, we are not including innocent white lies. I am referring to untruths that affect a relationship to the point where trust becomes simply a meaningless word and the relationship will be as good as dead. Love and trust are inseparable.

There is nothing as devastating as being in a relationship with a habitual liar, it becomes pathological. I know most people especially women put up with various quirks in their partners simply to keep the relationship alive, but a person who lies a lot is a turn-off pushing one to the edge.

One of the painful parts you find yourself in after finding out that your partner has been lying is the self-blame for believing the lie. In reality, when people are in a relationship they are more likely to judge their partners as truthful and fail to detect deception. Therefore one should always be alert, because a serial liar can destroy you.

Sisters, you have to be alert in life and do not just believe whatever you are told. It is sad that some women have been used and dumped after believing in a series of lies.

Being in a relationship with somebody who lies is tough. It’s not that you don’t love them or care about them; it’s just that you will not connect. If you check, there are some couples who do not trust each other even with small things, because one of them would have lied a lot. You find that there are people who get to a point where they prefer not to discuss anything with their partners because they do not find any help in doing so, but being hurt with lies.

The pain of lies is usually felt most by the person on the receiving end because the day she/ he discovers that, they feel disrespected and unimportant.

This can drive one to be sad and lonely because when you were busy giving someone part of your heart, they held theirs back and hurt you with lies. Of course most people always say they told a lie just to get out of a sticky situation, but no matter what, lies hurt. By telling a loved one a lie, they feel betrayed and it is that feeling of betrayal that can lead to a breakdown.

Love doesn’t hurt but lies do; and the moment you start telling lies, it is no longer love. It builds a huge wall of insecurity. Yes, lies breed a different form of insecurity thriving on speculation than jealousy. Every relationship should be built on mutual trust, both parties must be able to trust each other.

Sisters, try to be trustworthy even on small things. I know there is always that temptation for women, especially when it comes to finances to lie so that they get a few extra cents. But if your partner discovers, he will not trust you even on serious issues.

There is a tendency to want to lie every time you find yourself in a jam because for you telling a lie is easier than telling the truth. And the problem arises when you tell too many lies as these lies may become difficult to contain. Simply put, one lie equals more lies and not only that, lies grow over time as it becomes harder and harder for you to keep your story straight.

In a marriage, always remember that trust is the fertile soil love grows on. Lies are so deadly that they even kill your bedroom life.

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