A couple of months ago, I was attacked by a pseudo account! Besides calling me all the unspeakables in this world. . . she went a step further and said hurtful things about my son. I closed my eyes a number of times trying to visualise the woman behind the account, I couldna��t imagine anyone!
Friends and Facebook users came through trying to decode the anonymous personality. All clues led to one person. A woman who was my friend. If you want to know if I also believe it was her behind the evil ghost account. Well, I dona��t know, but sometimes what you dona��t know can mean everything.
This is not how I accept my life to be. I dona��t need friends who can be easily mistaken by strangers to be behind my misfortunes, because it defeats every little trust shared. Did I have any other choice after that except to keep my distance? Maybe. They say, kill them with kindness.
Well, all I can say about that is, Ia��ve worked that line since that very incident. Over and over again, despite being lied to, insulted, picked on, put down, manipulated and bullied, I have come through in the lurch for my friends who needed me.
If I didna��t come through, it was only because sometimes in life, those you know may expect you to guess their needs. The way life works is, when you need something, you ask. Only then do you get what you want or need. I cannot be held accountable for those friends I may have had who now believe I did them wrong, because they didna��t ask me for what they needed of me.
This is their own responsibility, none of mine. I am done. I am a bank account. If you dona��t deposit more than you withdraw, this account will be closed. Ia��ve done second and third chances. Ia��ve done 50th chances. Where else does one draw the line? I say none of this in anger, only amazement.
I never thought a friend of mine could use my misfortunes to ridicule me. Of course, I am not naive enough to think horrible situations will never reach into my life. But, I always picture my life as a straight-forward, simple one.
I might sound selfish but my boyfriend is at least one true friend who judges me-not and loves me despite all. Who will make time for me whenever I need him, whether its the middle of the day or the night.
Why now do I accept so little as to not cling to the blue moon idea of true friends? I have grown accustomed to accepting less than I deserve, I suppose. Thata��s nowhere near all of it. I truly do not know the answer to this question. My hopeful heart is proven cataclysmically wrong, over and over. Over and over again I am left in the lurch, being given the silent treatment, being insulted, being taken for granted and belittled. The tragic part is, none of this is inevitable. None of this was necessary. It was choice she made . . . she woke up created a ghost account and attacked me! Period!
I keep getting slapped in the face by life, mainly with the fact that, a�?HELLO! You CANa��T make someone do what they and you both know needs to be done! You can NOT control what others will do, only how you react!a�? This applies, of course, to how people treat you.
Just because you treat someone with respect and support, does NOT mean you will be treated fairly in return. Truly accepting this may be tantamount to the Real True Wisdom but that doesna��t make it any easier. Nor does it make a reward in and of itself, to the seeker of deep inner happiness. Acceptance is only the first step. Recognition and the ability to rectify are two totally separate courses on the plate.
So, without her, I have gone about my life as I did before I met her. I have traded her for my happiness. For the freedom of a light heart and deep sleep. I have gained a lot more energy and life force. And its a natural-selection kind of weeding out false friends, which needs to happen every so often anyway. Anyone who cares will filter back to me on their own.
I might still have no definite answers on who that ghost account owner is but I took all the trash out of my life because I am only trying to save myself. No one else can do this for me, I have to take the reigns! Follow me on twitter @nomakartel