Internet egos aside. . . the real world

Nomathemba NdebelePeople who get too many followers online tend to be arrogant and rude in real life, generally speaking.Well, lately I have noticed a number of incidencesA� where people with regular achievements and laughable bank accounts have

ACTED way too high online, and that is distressing to me.A� Doesna��t it just hurt yourA� feelings when some normal person with bad skin is rude to you simple because they have online popularity?

No, I for one never signed up to listen to a failure in real life giving out opinions in cyber world, nor would I ever let anyone tell me what to do. So why are so many of them trying to get away with it?

Zimbabweans are seriously depressed and willing to settle for whatever cyber heroes they can get.A� I was scrolling through my Newsfeed and I couldna��t help but notice shallowness and emptiness from a perfectly average person with a perfectly common-place personality.
They drive a perfectly standard car to and from their perfectly mediocre job while dressed in their perfectly everyday clothing but they post real time solutions to this worlda��s problems. Likes and comments get thrown around like there is a reward. These a�?likesa�? are being reinforced somewhere, I just cana��t figure out by whom.

I thought about contacting some sort of medical professional to lend some credibility to my in-depth psychoanalysis, a psychologist or human behaviourist or something else fancy-sounding, to maybe gain some insight into why people with nothing, think they can force their opinions on people online. . . from life coaches to motivational speakers. Some special kind of stupidity.

FASCINATING.
How many truly exceptional people do you know offline? seriously? Count them on your fingers and see if you fill up a whole hand.
I did that survey and I didna��t make the list and thata��s how I stay down to earth, because I remind myself of everything that sucks about me to keep me humble and believe me, the list is really f**** long. Ia��m not exceptional.

At some point in life you got to take the litmus test to know when you might want to just shut up and be nice to everyone despite the following you command online. Ask yourself, what do I know?

This seems like an easy one, right? NOT SO FAST. Leta��s say your answer is politics or music. well,A� music that is most certainly true. You own a great deal of music, listen to thousands of artistes, been to dozens of shows but you wouldna��t have the first idea how to write a music review or how to describe that one thing that Macheso does with the guitar. Let alone the name of that new beat they are all riding on.

You cana��t tell us much about museve either or Zimdancehall or Bulawayo Kwaito and you dona��t know a whole lot about the musicians themselves, except you just read about some beef between one Mudiwa and Stunner on H-Metro or B-Metro, so does that count?

You dona��t know anything about rhyming, so basically I guess what Ia��m trying to say is you dona��t really know that much about music and you should probably SIT DOWN.

Ask yourself what do you own? Um. . . IA� can tell you what I dona��t own: a house, a farm, a pair of shoes that cost more than $100, expensive jewellery, an original watch. I have a couple of gadgets,A� a computer that IA� need to upgrade (It was a gift from mommy dearest), a fancy bed, a bunch of fancy cookware, some fancy house furniture, a little cat and lovely dogs, some books.yes books . . . should I continue? But is it enough to raise some egos? Dona��t I NEED TO SIT DOWN. Now ask yourself this, do people like you? on second thoughts, THIS might be the one that people are most clueless about.

My answer is yes, but only on the internet. Ia��m famous. Ia��m liked, like everybody else on the planet I have, like, six real friends. Dona��t lie to me, you fakers. facebook friends and people you recognise from high school in the grocery store DO NOT COUNT.
Ia��m talking real people that you have actual conversations with on a weekly basis. Ia��m talking about people who will pick you up from the airport or visit you in the hospital. People who will spend a Saturday afternoon goofing around with you or help you move out of a third floor flat into another ON A HOT DAY.

Oh, therea��s no one in your life who fits that description? then you dona��t have any friends, son. sorry to break it to you, but dona��t feel bad, I spend most of my time alone on the internet and cursing the outside world, too. whilst SEATED. Come sit that ego right next to mine . . .

At this point you should probably be humbled to the point of suicide, but feel free to ask yourself how much money you really make out of this CYBER life and what cool benefits are you into that set you apart from all these otherA� internet users with no notable followers.

Anyway, Ia��m not that awesome, and neither are you. so leta��s rejoice in our regularity and keep egos off the streets. Many thanks for reading.

Lets do this again next week.