marriage.p

How my marriage crumbled in the diaspora

WHEN I landed in Perth, Australia back in 2000 with my wife and two young children from Harare, we were so happy to start a new life in a new country.

My wife and I were both graduates from the University of Zimbabwe but realised that for us to be successful we needed to go back to school and earn Australian qualifications. But, as parents with two young kids, it was not financially feasible for both of us to study at the same time.

As a focused and loving man I opted that my wife be the first one to attend university and study pharmacy while I worked multiple menial jobs to support the family. For those inA� the diaspora, I did it all; wiping of bums included.

It was not easy; my days were long and stressful. To be honest, working menial jobs was not fun after being an executive in Zimbabwe for an insurance company for over 8 years. But I was determined to uplift my family and four years passed quickly. Remember with no maid, I had to do the dishes, scrub the floors, do the laundry, change diapers and cook for the family while my wife was studying.

After my wife graduated she became a member of the Pharmacy Board of Australia. We were all happy as a family; the future looked bright. My wife got her first job as a pharmacist in Australia and her starting salary was AU$31 an hour and, hypothetically speaking, it was her turn to support me as I went through my studies in radiology.

But this is when my marriage nightmare started. The first eight months when she started working as a pharmacist everything went well until I discovered a series of e-mails showing she had been romantically involved with a white Australian male physician for over two years and it was evident they had had sex on several occasions.

My heart bled; I could not believe that while I was working hard for the family to help her finish her studies she was busy sleeping with another man behind my back and the kids. When I confronted her she told me she no longer needed me because I was useless and she stated that there were better men with more cash out there.

Amazingly she called the Australian police on me and falsely accused me of being emotionally abusive. I NEVER laid my hand on her.

I was escorted out of the house and advised that I had to go through the courts to seek shared custody of the kids and never return home. What a painful experience it was. Fortunately, I had a supportive Christian couple that provided me with accommodation and food while I finished my education.

For years, my life was a challenge; I was depressed, angry and felt betrayed but God saw me through. I worked hard and now I am a qualified radiologist in Australia. I have no desire to marry, believe me. My wifea��s family was not helpful. I guess one stands by their child even if she is the wrong; life is full of injustice.

After this experience, I have great advice for Zimbabwean men in Diaspora; DO NOT MARRY. Marriage is a waste of time and energy for men; there is no benefit.

Most Zimbabwean married men would agree with me that women are impossible to deal with in the diaspora. If you are about to get married, think it over. Dona��t let your private part do the thinking for you; you will wake up in a hell of a hangover staring with this woman who will control your life and disrespect you.

  • Helelele

    Thanks for the article. Not only in the diaspora, even locally women are so unpredictable.

  • Museyamwa

    Its very unfortunate you learnt the very basic lesson of all too late too bitter I would say. It is not about women my brother it is about human nature! Give a human being money and power and then you know the true being. My advice you should remarry but do not never try to develop further the state you find that woman in, unozviruza!