Dona��t give the small house a chance

Siphilisiwe Mloyi
THIS week gentle readers I am rending the column because the landlady is not around but I believe my contribution will make sense especially considering that the widely celebrated day for lovers a�� St Valentinea��s Day a�� observed on 14 February each year is around the corner.

There is no prize for guessing that newspapers and other social networking platforms such as WhatsApp and Facebook are replete with stories of married women losing their husbands to small houses.

As Valentinea��s Day is approaching I know a lot of married women are wondering how to make the day memorable for their darlings. My simple advice sisters is, dona��t expect him to just buy a present for you. You should also return the favour as they say a good turn deserves another.

Have you ever heard the saying, a�?a�?a hungry man is an angry mana��a��? The meaning of the dictum with regards to this coming Valentinea��s Day is to sap your lovera��s sexual hunger so that he would not extend his roving eyes to other women whom he believes are easy pawns to quench his sexual hunger on.

Your guess is as good as mine that most men on this special loversa�� day entirely need sex favours from their loved ones. So sisters if your partner asked for it go for it and do all the bedroom gymnastics that will leave your lover mourning in deep pleasure.

That is the only panacea to woes usually encountered in relationships. Still on bedroom relish dona��t expect him to do the job on an empty stomach sisters, and again dona��t expect a maid to spoil your man with good food because she might end up over taking your role in the bedroom. Take control as the woman of the house. Make a great dinner that will make him believe that you are both good in the bedroom and kitchen.

The trick ladies is that men can exceptionally perform in the bedroom after a wonderful meal. A chat with male workmates revealed that men usually perform after eating food such as cheese which are believed to boost or improve virility. Another pertinent issue ladies, make sure you change the bedding regularly. By this you will be removing the blankets and sheets that would have been messed during those pleasurable moment.

Making love is something special and it is one of the funniest things that one can have without laughing. So make love in a lovely place. Make the environment conducive. The bedroom should be sparkling clean. Studies show that bedroom colours such as pink or blue are usually used by unmarried women so go for white or cream for bedding. That sight of clean sheets with the scent of fabric softener will automatically prepare his mind for a night of ecstasy or makes his organ rise like a phoenix.

Gone are the days of omagumede (full panties), spruce things up by bathing and putting on nice lace lingerie as it will turn on the spark. There is nothing as annoying as the smell of sweat, feet, mouth and everything you can think of. It would mean the dullest night ever. Therefore, the scent of that special cologne he loves will leave him with no choice but give you a brilliant night.

Tease him, the site of you parading in the bedroom naked will make things happen. Men prefer to go to bed with naked women that is why whenever they see a naked woman their blood quickly runs hot.

This is your man, who else should see you naked? Let him physically see that gluttonous hole or a�?Black Deltaa��a�� as they say seeing is believing. Allow him to see his delicacy and get wondering what kind of honey could be down there in the honey pot.

The fact that you are going to bed must not stop you from applying your favourite lip gloss. Sisters dona��t put lipstick because it would feel smooch and uncomfortable. Glossy lips will make your lips kissable and he will not resist you. Dry lips will bruise his lips.

This goes for hands and feet. Make sure you oil them with creams. You dona��t want your man waking up with some scratches in the morning. Run a bath for two as this is the sexiest thing you can do for your man. The bubble bath could be sensual and relaxing. Help him with his chores, like cleaning the car or polishing his shoes.

It has become the bedroom tradition for many couples to leave everything to the man.

If you want to give him a kinga��s treatment this Valentinea��s Day take the initiative. Men do not like weak women, so take control. This will open the flood gates and lead to a memorable experience.

Ladies, if you are used to addressing your husband as SaGugu or with their names, STOP IT, use romantic a�?addressesa�? like honey, sweetheart, darling and babe. These will make him earnestly believe you are the love of his life.

I know most of my African sisters are hot-headed. They dona��t want to be humble. Prove him wrong this time around even when you know that he is the one who is wrong, quickly apologise. Just imagine what will happen if you return fire with fire. Picking unnecessary arguments with him will give the impression that you are big-headed.

Sisters dona��t wait for him to come from work in the evening then you start to crank the engine text him some sweet messages while he is at work. Remind him that you cana��t wait to meet him in the evening. He will come home running. Try it, it will work like a charm.

Till we meet next week . . .

 

  • Renting

    That moment when the first line in what should have been a great story turns you completely off and you no longer want to read the story.

    The word is renting, not rending.

    Please edit your story again and apologize to the person whose column you are wrending. (pun intended)