I was listening to this other programme on radio where a pastor who was an invited guest said women should not date men for more than six months without formalising the relationship.
Six months! I could not stop thinking about that and I have been asked that question numerous times on how long you should date a person before moving to another level. How long?
I know this is a controversial issue and I tried to get different opinions as I consulted some elders and relationship experts. I never got a convincing answer.
Elders told me how they used to do it back then. They believe that people should take their time and get to know each other very well and that means nothing less than five years.
When they talked of six years, I just imagined a situation where you date someone for seven years and then you break up. Just think of the time wasted! If it was a baby born, she would be at school by then.
They believe that nowadays people rush into marriage and that is the reason for increase in divorces, only God knows.
Back to the radio pastor, he said six months. It seems a bit too early to start introducing a person to your family within that short time and even consider preparing for a wedding.
The tricky issue is that definitely relatives will ask you how long you have known each other. If you say the truth, believe me, no one will take you seriously. Then the question is, for how long?
Sisters, it therefore seems that it is difficult to really agree on a specific timeline, but the bottom line is that, it should not be rushed or delayed.
You know, it is just as good as having your friend approach you and ask what she should do with her seven-year-old relationship which does not have a�?directiona�?. Deep down you will be wanting to tell the person to move on, but the fear that she is madly in love makes it difficult.
Anyway, when it comes to matters of the heart, the decision is yours!
Sisters, you have to know that marriage is one of the important things and it is a life changing endeavour. You have to be absolutely sure that the man in your life is someone you will be happy spending time with day in and day out. Do not settle for anything less than your expectations!
A boyfriend who turns you into a punching bag is a no go area because I believe a person who loves you will never want to see you in pain!
Do not be misled by people who will tell you that a loving man beats up his partner, no; we are in the 21st century.
There are also those boyfriends who never spend even a cent on their partner, no present or whatever. Never force a stingy boyfriend to marry you because those are the same men who are later blamed for being irresponsible.
A woman will work hard to fend for the family while he turns a blind eye to all the responsibilities. You will live to regret marrying him, but in actual fact, he would have shown you from the start that he is not a responsible man.
The other important thing is sticking to someone trustworthy. I know love issues are really complicated. Sisters, if your boyfriend cheats on you before you even get married what do you think will happen afterwards? Stop making excuses for them and get real.
A cheating boyfriend is not marriage material. If you tolerate him having other girlfriends then know there are higher chances that tears will be your daily food in the marriage as they always say, a�?Ungithande usazi ukuthi ngilama-girlfriends, manje ukhalelani.a�? Painful, but true!
A great partner should also be loyal. Be sure that it is someone who will stand by you through thick and thin. It should be someone who understands your flaws and all. The loyal part will play its biggest role when the in-laws are becoming too dramatic. Expect that in marriage; of course not all in-laws are dramatic.
Sisters, your partner should respect you. The man whose marriage proposal you accept should be a genuine person who considers you in every situation and will be on your side no matter what. He should not be the type that will be checking out other women, but will keep his attention focused on you, the woman in his life.
The last two crucial things are great communication and great intimacy.A� Great communication is the foundation of relationships. If you are considering making it official by marrying him, you have to feel comfortable talking with him anything and I mean anything.
The more you communicate with your man, the less likely the two of you will get into arguments because both of you will be able to talk about your problems instead of holding them in.
The way you relate to each other in the bedroom has a big influence on whether the two of you will stay together after wedding vows are exchanged, so the intimacy between the two of you should be on point.
Never settle for less!
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