Do not over-do it!

Nhlalwenhle Ncube

MOST women are gifted when it comes to talking and it is unfortunate that some even take it in between the sheets which is wrong!

Especially if it’s done in a manner that sets the sex trail cold.

Of course, couples should communicate during the game, but they should say the right things at the right time.

Talking during the adult game is actually a turn on, but do not over-do it.

You have to know the limit and specific things to say which might enhance and keep the adult game steamy.

There are definitely times when talking during sex may be necessary, especially when letting your partner know your g-spots or even when you are with a new partner. Talking in a constructive sexual manner during the adult game may as well be a much needed guidance to make the whole game interesting.

You may need to explain what you like and what you want the other person to do (or not do). However, talking can sometimes be a distraction, and having sex with a real chatterbox may end up ruining the moment. Imagine when you are trying to concentrate and finally moving with the sex flow your hubby keeps distracting you with sentiments that draw you further from reaching an orgasm. Sisters please I know most of us as well have that weakness don’t let it ruin your sex life.

The best thing is talk when necessary and never be too quiet during the game as well. At least smile, groan or scream to show that some activity is taking place.

My sisters! Don’t get me wrong you don’t have to be quiet as a church mouse, but master the concept of talking during the adult game as complete silence can be a turn off.

Complete silence during the adult game, almost amounts to watching your favourite soapy series without sound, can you imagine the curiosity, anticipation and the level of boredom you will be accelerating towards.

So what do you think about talking and sex? Do you talk, or are you the type that silently absorbs all the sensations?

Do you like it when the person you’re with talks, or do you think the experience it better when there are no words involved?

Personally I think talking in that sensual sexual tone complements the bedroom game as it adds up, as a much needed narrative of what your bodies will be going through. In brief I can say that it’s the much needed verbal antidote description for the adult game.

Most male colleagues that I talked to said they preferred partners who speak during the sex game as it prolongs the adult game, emphasizing that silence leaves nothing to imagination but a quick paced race towards an orgasm.

As social animals, it’s no doubt that communication is a backbone of every relationship, why then are we as sisters failing; are we not willing to engage in communication during the adult game. Most sisters only speak if they are about to reach the big ‘O’, which is a good thing. Imagine being silent for twenty or so minutes and only to be heard bellowing “I…am about to come.” It’s a bit off the script.

As women we are not that different from our fairer sex, we do have egos, which are easily bruised.

As a result we must be considerate and ensure that we give our partners confirmation that they are doing the right thing during the adult game, that’s when communication comes in, don’t approach the adult game like you took a vow of silence during your marriage.

Sisters definitely that sexy voice doubles up as a complete and a turn-on during the adult game. Don’t use the “where have you been the whole night tone,”  as this will suggest that you are not in the sexy mood, your tone says a lot about what will be happening to your body in that specific moment, it’s a    revelation and a needed testimony to your partner that he is on the right track.

One thing that we have to understand as sisters is that men don’t groan as much as we do during the adult game, but you have to listen to your partner’s breathing pace and his whole body muscles as they tend to speak louder in expressing how he will be feeling.

This is where you encourage him with dirty names and praises.

To all my sisters who have been taking the adult game with silence, tonight and many more to come this is the moment you have to get all those dirty sexy vocabularies that will make your bedroom life a wonder…

Hey sister, truly you are helping us.

Please educate our men as well, why are you always talking about women, we also need to be loved and appreciated.

It is true, men are sometimes selfish. It’s a matter of teaching ourselves to satisfy our partners, once you learn it’s very great. You will be happy that you satisfied your woman. A satisfied woman is a happy partner; a happy partner equals a good connection. — Bongani.

Sis Nhla I follow you closely in every article you write, hayi shame uyabulala and now you have to educate ladies on bedroom styles and positions which suit both candidates because truly speaking some men go out because of that.

They want women who will satisfy them on what they don’t get in their homes. — Mphoe

Hie, I am an avid reader of your column. Am not a woman, but I learn one or two things from the articles, good work indeed. There is this thing that women do of taking a chamber to the bedroom and before the adult game, she goes checherrrrr (peeing) Tjo what a complete turn-off. Please teach our women something on this one.

Tips on how to keep your man, mina ngakhula labogogo. Once in every three months chat ngexolo lomganu. You have to drink a cup of warm water every morning to detox your system. Have a teaspoon of intolwane or umgugudu powder almost daily in porridge. I can assure you your man will go crazy because you will be like a virgin. Did you know that intolwane is now a hit among the British because of its curative properties. Abadala bathi zithiywa ngezikudlayo. Ungalungisa isitho ngeke azakutshiye ubaba.

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