orgasm

Dare the orgasm drought

Nhlalwenhle Ncube

In last week’s lengthy article I made efforts to encourage sisters that have never had an orgasm, in their entire sexual life to erect more structures in their bedroom game to reach the Big “O”.
One thing that I feel like I left out in last week’s offering are the perceptions held by sisters which lead to failure to reach an orgasm.

I don’t know how many times this expression about the size not mattering, has been used, but it seems that sisters still have a strong attitude towards the size of their partner’s manhood.

Like we said last week, sex is a mind game, once you have a negative attitude towards the size of your man’s manhood, it will be hard to achieve an orgasm.

That size, my sisters, for the hundredth time does not matter, it’s all about how the owner uses it and how you are receptive that gives a toe-curling orgasm.

Thanks to all those women who opened up after reading the column and from the revelations it came out that the biggest problem is the bond you must achieve with your partner.

Men inevitably, always lead the race when it comes to climaxing, leaving their women in a void filled with tense expectations and imagined orgasm.

Sister, if you find yourself in such a situation I deeply encourage dialogue with your partner and create a path of foreplay everytime you are about to give it a go.

In relation to big manhood, someone can have a big one, but still fail to last longer as expected. As a result it all boils down to understanding each other‘s body language as you passionately race towards the big orgasm.

Sisters, control the pace, don’t let your partner rob you of that moment, don’t let him be the Usain Bolt of the bedroom.

Tuck him into your favourite position, and wrestle him until he understands the rhythm and pace of your body language. In that pace an earthquake-like orgasm is guaranteed.

The size does not determine whether the man will peak early or late in the sack!

Women with partners who have premature ejaculation are unhappy and frustrated and this has ruined many marriages because it spoils their sex life as there are no orgasms to talk about.

Couples who try to ignore the problem are not solving the problem, but they should discuss it. Give him a chance to go for the second round, don’t bruise his ego with insults if he pulls a khonapho khonapho.

As a woman, you do not have to be hard on your man because of ‘coming’ too quickly, but support him and tackle the problem together. At times, the way you raise the issue to your man can really destroy him because before you even discuss the problem, he is aware of it as well.

Most men who have the problem end up giving up on playing the adult game in a bid to avoid criticism they get from their partners after the game. Remember men and their ego!

Sisters, never blame or shame your partners for “coming” too early. You have to understand that it does happen and one thing I have heard is that women usually say, “Do not be selfish, wait for me”.

If the man ejaculates before his partner has also reached the big “O” they then blame them for not being loving partners, which is not right. Early ejaculation has nothing to do with love!

If you are a woman and you are in a relationship with an early ejaculator, know that he never does that on purpose, but has a problem and I do not want to call it an illness. Do not think that they are selfish.

When you touch your man, your touch should be designed to keep him minimally aroused and not to send him rushing headlong in the direction of his ejaculatory threshold.

The other thing which couples can do is using the position where the woman gets on top. When on top, you slide back and forth rather than up and down as it reduces stimulation for the male but simultaneously creates more arousal for the female.

The other advantage of the cowgirl position is that you get more clitoral stimulation when you are on top and are in control!

As a sister, just like in a wrestling match, you know which position makes you surrender, talk to your man and lead him to that position, tackle him until he gives you a resounding climax.

Sisters, for your sex life to be the best, bear in mind that in good sex, there are no demands made and no judgements passed. As a woman you have to be persistent in teaching your partner that there is more to making love than just doing it! In a caring and intimate relationship, there is never a failure!

Don’t settle for less; build your sexual life and guide it towards an orgasm filled path.