Orgasms are real

Nhlalwenhle Ncube

IT is so disturbing to hear some women saying they have accepted the “fact” that they are abnormal as they do not reach orgasm and are prepared to live with that. What the hell is that sisters?

If you are one of those people, better change your attitude because you are missing a lot!

I mean you are literally missing the world, you are yet to start living if you have not reached the big O!!!

I have met women who are always asking about what they should do in order to have an orgasm during intercourse, their biggest worry being that they think something might be wrong with them. No, you are normal!

You just need to know which buttons to press and the need for foreplay.

Sex in as much as it gets physical it’s more of a mind game, you have to concentrate and give it your best. After all it’s a defining moment for most women.

If you are a woman, “coming” is not easy, but men are lucky because they can climax without any difficulty.

Anyway, the issue of not “coming” should not bother you that much, since women do not need to climax in order to conceive.

Virtually any woman can climax and the fortunate ones can have multiple climaxes if the circumstances of her life are right. These circumstances usually include having a caring, understanding partner who’s knowledgeable about the woman’s body parts and uses that knowledge to help her relax and sing aloud the song, “I’m coming.”

And indeed, if your partner understands your anatomy, you will definitely sing ‘I’m coming’, I mean you and your partner you have to be in sync, work together to reach orgasm.

What’s the point of huffing and puffing all the time, if you cannot have an orgasm for a compliment?

You know orgasm is a much more automatic response for men than it is for women and most men have the ability to climax without real feelings of love and romance. Women are different as they need to feel loved and appreciated to boost their sexual confidence.

I believe as a sister reading this column you have that passionate individual who has a passion for making love to you, that’s the ideal conducive environment you need.

All sisters who have problems reaching the climax should start practising on their own and get to understand their bodies and know their sensitive parts. Hahaha I know that only a few are willing to explore their bodies to that level, masturbating can be useful as it helps you to learn exactly which pressures and rhythms you need in order to bring you to orgasm.

Once you have learned to climax easily on your own, you can then show your partner exactly what you need in order to make you come.

I have always said and I will maintain this, sisters once you are in bed don’t always allow your man to dictate the pace of the bedroom game. Be in charge as well, and hold the beast with its horns to the ground.

Of course, this may be embarrassing at first, but the first step to fulfillment with a partner is communicating your feelings to him and also tell him how you like your body to be touched.

Then if you find this very difficult (knowing your man) lead him, like if you want him to play with your breasts take his hands and put them there.

I wonder how many of you sisters out there have got vibrators in their wardrobes. Some women reach an orgasm much easier with the help of toys, but if you happen to be using them please be careful before you end up being addicted as you would soon be telling us that your man is “useless”.

After all the tactics have been tried, your man remains the biggest and most important tool to help you reach an orgasm and it’s nice when you sing the chorus, “I’m coming baby” together.

As women we need stimulation of the clitoris as it is just as important as the one eyed monster to us and if we were men that would have been our monsters. Men also need to show women love, good romance, cuddling and good atmosphere to help turn women on leading them to orgasm.

Dim the lights a bit; if you are into music let a bit of background music do the talking for you, what I am saying is that the card to set a conducive environment is in your hands.

Eish there are selfish men out there who only think of themselves, a good man should take his time and not rush so that his woman enjoys and reaches orgasm. If it happens that he loses control and comes before you do, at least he should summon some energy and kiss you until you climax.

At times as women we have ourselves to blame as we would be thinking of negative things during intercourse disturbing ourselves, so try to concentrate and enjoy what you would be doing at that moment.

I know that sisters usually discuss such things and do not try or expect what happened to your friend to happen to you as there are different types of orgasms namely simultaneous and multiple.

Simultaneous orgasm is certainly a nice one when you climax exactly at the same time with your partner.

It can only be achieved if the man has good control of his own orgasm and if he’s skilled at using his fingers during the adult game bringing the woman to a climax just at the same moment as he comes. Better not pretend ladies, I know you lie a lot when it comes to this!

It’s the worst lie ever!!!

Multiple orgasms are when women can have a series of climaxes, one after the other if, that is, they’re happy and relaxed in the relationship and if the partner is willing to stimulate them to “come” again and again.

A woman’s ability to climax tends to improve with age as it seems to be a learning process and it’s never too late.

And remember the journey to a great sex life only begins with one orgasm.

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