Get it right in 2016

Nhalwenhle Ncube

HAPPY New Year!

It is an open secret that every woman needs a stable relationship and as people enter a New Year, I can bet with my last cent that most  women who will be attending all night prayers will definitely have relationship issues on their prayers list.

Let me take this opportunity to say sorry to all those sisters who went through a hard time in 2015 and suffered heartbreaks. Be strong, life is like that and you have to understand that it was a blessing in disguise.

The curtain has come down and this means new things, just open a new page in life, but make sure you do not forget all that you learnt on the other pages.

Sisters, you should understand that not being in a relationship does not mean you are lonely and your life is doomed.

You can be alone, but not lonely. At times it is better to be alone than in a stressful relationship where there is no future.

Yes, you heard me correctly. I have met a number of women who despite realising that the future of their relationship is bleak, keep on wasting more years on it. The funny part is that when they seek advice, they mention that on their own, but still wait and expect someone to advise them to red card their partners. Shame! Shame! No one will ever tell you to dump your boyfriend. All they will say is do what is best for you and when you find two or more people telling you this, then know they mean act and move on.

2016 get it right!

While there are health benefits that come with being in a healthy relationship, many people can be just as happy and fulfilled without being part of a couple. Despite the stigma in some social circles that accompanies single people, it’s important not to enter a relationship just to “fit in”. Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Nothing is as unhealthy and dispiriting as being in a bad relationship.

Sisters know that instant sexual attraction and lasting love do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. If you meet someone, you do not need to jump in between the sheets with him as emotions can change and deepen over time. I know some ladies are afraid to move on because they will have been intimate with the man and in such situations it’s not really easy to let go.

Experience conflicts in a relationship and see how you will handle them with your partner. With the right resolution skills, conflict can also be an opportunity for growth in a relationship. Remember you cannot change anyone. People only change if and when they want to change!

In 2016, consider the following things in your relationship to try and get all the happiness you have always dreamt of.

Great men want and need straightforward, courageous communication without anger or criticism. One way to attract a great man and build a satisfying relationship is to learn how to communicate your truth and needs effectively.

Men want a woman to choose them out of love rather than out of desperation — either materially or emotionally.

Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests.

On the other hand, men treasure time spent with a loving partner.

Men want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals.

They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing.

Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated.

The desire to love and be loved is the most basic human need. Do you know how deeply God loves you? You are beautiful, loved, and not alone. Take a minute to think about that – God loves you, and not because of what you do.

You don’t need to act or look a certain way to be loved by God. He loves you unconditionally already. God created you and He is interested in the details of your life. God wants to have a close and personal relationship with you.

When looking for lasting love, forget what looks right, forget what you think should be right, and forget what your friends, parents or other people think is right. Just make sure that you are happy in the relationship.

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