Get it right this festive season

Nhlalwenhle Ncube

WHENEVER women have “dirty” talk with friends, issues where they laugh about those things that their men do wrong in  bed and what exactly their partners do which does not measure up to their needs and want pop up like corn in a hot pot.

Hey after listening to one discussion, I just said to myself, mnxxx so these ladies think they are always on top of their game and therefore I want to remind them that there are common mistakes that they do as well.

On top of the bad habits list is pretending as if you are not interested in having sex. I do not understand why someone reduces her man to a beggar every time before sex.

The truth is not like you won’t be interested, but it’s just a bad habit of trying to appear as if you are not a loose woman. Sisters please!!! You are way past your teen days.

He is already your man, why would he think you are loose, anyway it’s his conjugal right so give it to him. Serve him with zeal like you do with his supper.

You just have to know that by playing the adult game, you are not doing him any favour, but you also need that pleasurable moment!

In the bedroom, do not play the submissive one.

Well, men wooing women sounds really good, but it should not go down to the bed.  Most women want their men to seduce them, touch them and be creative enough to keep their interest going. And it does not end there. If the man tries venturing into creative zones, she plays the part of the boss who decides what will be done and what will not be. Learn to play out of your comfort zone ladies! After all s-e-x is an act that involves two lovers!

Women also tend to worry more about their looks. It is unfortunate that women being women want to play perfect at all times. God forbid if there is a mirror in the room, it is sure to attract her attention more than the real act. Let loose!

Enjoy the act without trying to maintain make-up or your hairstyle. Get your freak on, as Missy Elliot once sang.

Women want men to go down there with their tongues, but few return the favour. If you love it when he goes down on you, know that he expects the same thing. No man will resist a good job down there.

In fact, most men complain that their women resist blowing their privates for reasons best known by them. Sisters be fair, for all the hard work that he puts in to please you in bed, let him enjoy a good blowing session too.

For those who go down on their man, job well done, but please do not use teeth. Don’t give him the impression that you are about to circumcise him. Please make sure you don’t treat it like an everlasting sweet where you go from licking and chewing to biting. As a rule, don’t use your teeth, it will scare the hell out of your man.

Eeish, I should not forget most women’s habit of criticising their partners during the adult game. You might not have liked the way his fingers moved down on you or you didn’t like the way he minced your nipples between his teeth, well try and be cool ladies.

Don’t make him feel like he is not doing anything right. Guidance is fine, but don’t crush his ego!  Learn to be soft and suggest. Remember men take their sex seriously, not as just a casual thing.

I know you have once watched a romantic movie, but please do not be a drama queen in bed trying to act like the actor. For instance when your man brings you to bed and starts to play with your hair or run his finger down your neck and you dramatically moan! Really? You got to know that too much drama puts your man off. This does not mean that turn into a mute lamb but practise discretion!

This goes hand in hand with faking the big O. Even if you are convinced that your man is incapable of making you reach orgasm, do not fake. Give him a chance to prove it, instead of cheating him. Try telling him the first few times if he asks and see how he turns it into real the next time.

Again, do not get too comfortable and start sleeping wearing track bottoms and tights. Your dressing in bed always plays a role in enhancing the sexual encounter, more than it does on the streets. So, spice things up!

Hey most women are radio gogos, but please not after the act. Understand that he has ripped off his energy pleasing you in the bed and wanting him to talk soon after becomes unfair.

Let the poor man breathe for a bit. Do not bring up issues about the household, grudges or plain career talk. Let him rest for some time before you suck him into the daily activities.

Lastly, hygiene is a must! If you are not clean, it could be a major put off. By clean, I don’t necessarily mean clean shaven. Some men like their women to have hair down there, provided they are not razor sharp.

Sisters, get it right this festive season and avoid errors which can affect your bedroom life!

Let your man be Santa at least in your bedroom.

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